Mary McAdams

Humanity, yours and mine.

Monday, December 19th, 2011

Humanity

This year I’ve been trying to gain a little understanding into our shared humanity.  My own humanity and that of those I share this world with.  By that, I mean everyone.

There is this deep sense of understanding within me and I don’t know where it comes from.  Perhaps my elders honed it within themselves and passed it on to me.  People will never fail to fail.  Mistakes are for making.  Perhaps it’s like the old expression goes, “It’s not the absurdity, it’s your reaction to it.”  It’s not, “how could God let it happen?”  Instead perhaps, God is in our reaction to what happened.

I forgive.  I need to be forgiven.  Don’t get me wrong, I hold grudges; but I don’t hold them well, I don’t hold them long and I can only hold one at a time.  It’s a curse and it’s a blessing.  My memory is short.  And that is a curse and it’s a blessing.

At one point, I started a list, so I wouldn’t forget.  Then a  friend would see me talking to someone who had dissed me, and say, “Why were you talking to her? After what she did to you?”  I had forgotten former said dissing.  But keeping the list was killing me.  Forgetting was far easier.  People change.  They do better when they know better.

I feel like I’ve seen it all this year.  Or maybe I’m just seeing with new eyes.

People will fail you.  People will disappoint you.  It’s not necessarily a character flaw.  We’re all reaching.  None of us are there yet.  I’m beginning to think it’s just our humanity.  We are flawed.  I don’t have it figured out yet, but I do know that it’s not cause for alarm.  I’m beginning to think it’s an opportunity for understanding.

We hold people to high standards.  And then they show their humanity.  We are surprised.  Maybe their failings are less about them, and more about us.  Maybe what’s important is our reaction and our understanding.